TV
Quotes:
Anamaniacs *
Due South * the Pretender * The
Avengers * Batman
Yakko: Wait a sec...stiff...boring...humorless...not plugged in...named Al. It's the Vice President!
Satan: Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others! You will remain in here for eternity listening to ... whiny protest songs from the 60's! "Hot Bothered and Bedeviled"
Satan: I so love a musical number. Fetch me an insurance salesman. I want to torment someone. "Hot Bothered and Bedeviled"
Yakko: And now
it's time...
Wakko: to make bubbles with our spit?
Yakko: for the Wheel of Morality!
CAPTAIN AHAB:
Man the longboats!
YAKKO: Or woman the shortboats. That way everyone's covered.
YAKKO: And the
moral of today's story is... "Don't be a fool. Stay in school."
DOT: I'm speechless.
WAKKO: Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel.
DOT: And I'm
Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Banana Fol - oh!
DIRECTOR: Cut!
YAKKO: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Folana!
WAKKO: According
to this, I'd say we've lost our way.
YAKKO: This isn't a map. It's a flyer for the Republican Party.
WAKKO: I know. That's why I'd say we've lost our way. As a country, I mean.
DOT: I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, and here is a note from my shrink. He says I'm getting better. Last week I thought I was a toaster oven!
DOT: Come on,
admit it. We'd make the perfect couple. Like Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and
Juliet...
YAKKO: Timmy and Lassie.
TROLL: I'm gonna
eat you! Blah!
WAKKO: You can't eat me, Mr. Troll. I'm under contract. Warner Brothers would
be very upset with you. They'd sue your pants off.
DOT: This village
is so quaint, it makes me want to break into song.
YAKKO: Funny, It makes me want to break into a rash.
YAKKO: But let
this be a lesson to you all: For wherever there is belching...
WAKKO & DOT: We'll be there!
YAKKO: Wherever there is stupidity...
WAKKO & DOT: We'll be there!
YAKKO: Wherever there is candy...
WAKKO: We'll be there a lot quicker!
DOT: Now that's
tall, dark, and handsome.
YAKKO: Don't forget flea-ridden.
YAKKO: Come on!
Let's go into this dark and spooky forest.
WAKKO: Do we have to?
YAKKO: Well, if we don't, we face a fate worse than death.
WAKKO (gasps): You mean...?
YAKKO: That's right. Another song by Dot.
DOT: I think this uniform needs something; something that says "I'm here to destroy you", but with a sense of fun.
WAKKO: Wanna
see me make bubbles with my spit?
YAKKO: Sure do! In fact, that's the theme of our next show!
DOT: So don't miss it!
NED FLAT: Why
are you acting like this?
YAKKO: We're not acting. We really are like this.
RASPUTIN: Slow
down!
YAKKO: Why? Everyone else is Russian around here!
DOT: All we know is that we like you. We have no taste, but we like you.
MISS FLAMIEL:
We'll move on to science. Dot, what can you tell me about the great scientists
of the nineteenth century?
DOT: They're all dead.
MISS FLAMIEL: No no no!
DOT: All right. They're all living.
MISS FLAMIEL: No no no!
YAKKO: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.
It's that time again...
Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number...
1 Vote
early and vote often.
1 Brush your teeth after every meal.
1 Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
2 If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.
2 Don't eat with your mouth full.
2 Don't be a fool, stay in school.
2 Don't spit in public.
3 You can teach an old dog new tricks, but you can't teach Madonna to act.
3 People who live in glass houses should get dressed with the
lights out.
3 Elvis lives on; in our hearts, in his music, and in a trailer park outside
Milwaukee.
4 Never ask what hot dogs are made of.
4 The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind, except in New Jersey, where
the air smells funny.
5 If you can't say something nice, you're probably at the
Ice Capades.
5 Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.
6 Possums have pouches like kangaroos.
6 Lather, rinse, repeat
Constable Fraser: Even the brightest light bulbs burn out.
JAROD: A cake with fruit baked right in! Thank you, this has to be delicious!
SYDNEY: Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.
JAROD: And by the way, ice cream... is good.
MISS PARKER: Run profiles on all the potential targets within a five-hundred-mile radius of the Centre. Everything this crew might be interested in. And I want everything you can find on this, Detective Evans. If he stole a Baby Ruth when he was six, I want to know how many nuts it had.
JAROD: What did
I ever do to you?
MR. RAINES: You exist.
JAROD: I can be anything I want to be.
JAROD: So let me get this straight. There are people out there who will buy your beer based upon two guys who are not only too ignorant to read a map, but simple-minded enough to drive through an exploding billboard?
PATIENT: Are
you a doctor?
JAROD: I am today.
PERSON: Bet you
could tell me some tales, huh?
JAROD: Well, I do know this one about this little monkey and this man in a
yellow hat.
MRS. PEEL: Would
you like a drink?
MR. STEED: Intravenously!
MRS. PEEL: Always
keep your bowler on in time of stress, and watch out for diabolical masterminds.
BATMAN: I'll be back in three minutes and twenty seconds.
ROBIN: Catwoman, you are not a nice person!
BATMAN: Poor devil. Forced to live in an air-conditioned suit that keeps his body temperature down to fifty degrees below zero. No wonder his mind is warped.
BATMAN: Naturally, you didn't know I was wearing my special Super B long thermal underwear.
BATMAN: I wish
we could help you, citizen, but we're just a couple of ordinary crimefighters
going about our mundane business.
(*back to top*)
